Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fourteen Weeks and Counting

Fourteen. XIV. 14.

The name of my brother's restuarant and the number of weeks my husband has been working as a consultant in Michigan. The first eleven weeks weren't that bad. Really. It was around the twelth week that really started to bother me. Like the kind of bother that makes you think drastic thoughts. The "I need a friend and where can I find one" kind of thoughts. The "Could we move out of state to be near loved ones" kind of thoughts.

Sure, he comes home on the weekends and some weeks he is only gone three out of five days. Like this one. But tonight is the first night he is gone and I already miss him. Terribly. Not so much in the new love, romantic, sort of way, but in the he's my children's father and my favorite friend sort of way. The silent guy at the other end of the sofa sort of way. The I'll deal with the kids sort of way. Or the I'll clean up dinner way.

Many others have similar if not longer seperations from their spouce. I get that. And I try not to complain. Really. The guys got a job. That's more then he could say this time last year. But the days are long and the nights are longer. I wonder how others handle the situation.

I look to military wives. They aren't just seperated, but they fear for the safety and very lives of their loved ones. However they have something that I do not. A support system. Military bases in their very existence provide a wide range of opportunities to network and find others in the same situation, a sort of misery loves company senerio. A "I know how you feel....let's get togther to beat this thing" sort of support.

I'm reading of the seperations our founding mothers went through while their husband's were on over seas assignments or serving in Washington while Congress was in session. I've read how they handled themselves. More often than not the wives and children moved to be near family while their husbands were away. Mothers, sisters, aunt's and dear friends stepped in to help with the family responsibilites. When surrounded by loved ones they were better able to endure the time apart.

My nearest relative is a two day drive from Tenneesee and the friends I hold most dear live very far away. My efforts to reach out and find a friend that is as close to me as a sister, here, within a 15 mile radius from my house, just seems out of my reach too. But I won't give up.

I will step up my service efforts at church. I have joined a political activity group. I drive one hour each way to homeschool group activities several times a month. I put myself out there. I am searching and hope that soon I will find another kindred soul who needs my friendship as much as I need hers.