Temper Tantrums and Love...do they go together?

I sit here at my computer replaying the events of the day in my mind. My 'not to be mentioned by name' teenager had a temper tantrum today. Not the two year old kind where they throw themselves onto the floor and kick and scream until they get what they want, but the 13 year old kind. The stomping around the house and pushing siblings around one. The storming out the front door with threats of running away one.

You probably know the kind.

Well that's the kind I got to experience today.

Soon after mentally registering the sound of a slammed door, I cautiously followed this barefooted child outside. I called out that a pair of shoes would probably help on their journey. After an age appropriate retort, this child snuck back into the house, while I was not looking, for the necessary footwear.

Naturally I was worried about this child but my instict told me some space and time was all that they needed. I resumed my homeschooling activities with the other kids. Going over math with one and helping the other with reading. Snack time came and went. We started our science and language arts activities. Over two hours had passed and I was getting nervous. Once I got everyone settled into a groove I decided it was time for me to venture out to find this lost child.

I grabbed a care package of a warm vest, a bottle of water and a snack and went in search of this lonely child. A slow drive around the neighborhood turned up nothing. So I drove slowly along the country road near our home. Still nothing. However, the forest remained unsearched. There is good probability I would find a hurting soul in there.

So I returned home to grab my phone and ask the kids where the best place to look in the forest was. One concerned sibling greeted me at the garage door asking if I had found our lost child. When I said I had not their response was "Well, they'll have to come home sometime!" A sweet attempt at comfort.

I grabbed my phone and decided to make a call...to see if I would get an answer. Surprisingly the child picked up and we had a quick conversation. I asked if they needed a jacket or something to eat or drink. They said they did not and that they needed more time to themselves. I reassured my love for this child and welcomed them home at anytime.

About a half hour later I heard the creak of the front door and had the reassurance that my child had come home. I walked to the kitchen and gently offered a quick welcome home, not wanting to push things to far, I left it at that. About an hour later things seemed to return to normal and all seems well and good.

So what I am contemplating now are the events that lead to such frustration and feelings of being different and unloved that my child chose to display such a dramatic gesture. Sure, they woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Sure they were being rude to siblings and parent. Sure they were being sarcastic and beligerent. And I called this child out on each one. I finally excused them from class and invited them to come back when they were ready to be polite. Enter...the temper tantrum.

Did I go to far? Should I let rudeness and disrespect slide? My gut tells me no. But how do I teach appropriate behavior while still instilling love and patience? I'm pretty sure I did not raise my voice. I'm pretty sure I was not favoring one child. I'm pretty sure I was not being rude or sarcastic myself. Everyone knows the rules and everyone knows the consequences.

So what's next? I'm not sure. To be honest I don't know what I could change. Would change. Where's the proverbial instruction book?

Parenting was sure simpler when there were three basic needs and three basic responces. Hungery, Lonely or Messy. Feed them, Love them and Change their Clothes. Could parenting still be that easy?